The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.
2 Male and female he created them, and he blessed them and named them Man when they were created.
3 When Adam had lived 130 years, he fathered a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth.
4 The days of Adam after he fathered Seth were 800 years; and he had other sons and daughters.
5 Thus all the days that Adam lived were 930 years, and he died.
6 When Seth had lived 105 years, he fathered Enosh.
7 Seth lived after he fathered Enosh 807 years and had other sons and daughters.
8 Thus all the days of Seth were 912 years, and he died.
9 When Enosh had lived 90 years, he fathered Cainan.
10 Enosh lived after he fathered Cainan 815 years and had other sons and daughters.
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11 Thus all the days of Enosh were 905 years, and he died.
12 When Cainan had lived 70 years, he fathered Mahalalel.
13 Cainan lived after he fathered Mahalalel 840 years and had other sons and daughters.
14 Thus all the days of Cainan were 910 years, and he died.
15 When Mahalalel had lived 65 years, he fathered Jared.
16 Mahalalel lived after he fathered Jared 830 years and had other sons and daughters.
17 Thus all the days of Mahalalel were 895 years, and he died.
18 When Jared had lived 162 years he fathered Enoch.
19 Jared lived after he fathered Enoch 800 years and had other sons and daughters.
20 Thus all the days of Jared were 962 years, and he died.
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21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he fathered Methuselah.
22 Enoch walked with God after he fathered Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters.
23 Thus all the days of Enoch were 365 years.
24 Enoch walked with God, and he was not found, for God took him.
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he fathered Lamech.
26 Methuselah lived after he fathered Lamech 782 years and had other sons and daughters.
27 Thus all the days of Methuselah were 969 years, and he died.
28 When Lamech had lived 182 years, he fathered a son
29 and called his name Noah, saying, “Out of the ground wthat the Lord has cursed, this one shall bring us relief from our work and from the painful toil of our hands.”
30 Lamech lived after he fathered Noah 595 years and had other sons and daughters.
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31 Thus all the days of Lamech were 777 years, and he died.
32 After Noah was 500 years old, Noah fathered Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
3 When Adam had lived 130 years, he fathered a son in his own likeness, after his image, and named him Seth.
4 The days of Adam after he fathered Seth were 800 years; and he had other sons and daughters.
5 Thus all the days that Adam lived were 930 years, and he died.
6 When Seth had lived 105 years, he fathered Enosh.
7 Seth lived after he fathered Enosh 807 years and had other sons and daughters.
8 Thus all the days of Seth were 912 years, and he died.
9 When Enosh had lived 90 years, he fathered Cainan.
10 Enosh lived after he fathered Cainan 815 years and had other sons and daughters.
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11 Thus all the days of Enosh were 905 years, and he died.
12 When Cainan had lived 70 years, he fathered Mahalalel.
13 Cainan lived after he fathered Mahalalel 840 years and had other sons and daughters.
14 Thus all the days of Cainan were 910 years, and he died.
15 When Mahalalel had lived 65 years, he fathered Jared.
16 Mahalalel lived after he fathered Jared 830 years and had other sons and daughters.
17 Thus all the days of Mahalalel were 895 years, and he died.
18 When Jared had lived 162 years he fathered Enoch.
19 Jared lived after he fathered Enoch 800 years and had other sons and daughters.
20 Thus all the days of Jared were 962 years, and he died.
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21 When Enoch had lived 65 years, he fathered Methuselah.
22 Enoch walked with God after he fathered Methuselah 300 years and had other sons and daughters.
23 Thus all the days of Enoch were 365 years.
24 Enoch walked with God, and he was not found, for God took him.
25 When Methuselah had lived 187 years, he fathered Lamech.
26 Methuselah lived after he fathered Lamech 782 years and had other sons and daughters.
27 Thus all the days of Methuselah were 969 years, and he died.
28 When Lamech had lived 182 years, he fathered a son
29 and called his name Noah, saying, “Out of the ground wthat the Lord has cursed, this one shall bring us relief from our work and from the painful toil of our hands.”
30 Lamech lived after he fathered Noah 595 years and had other sons and daughters.
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31 Thus all the days of Lamech were 777 years, and he died.
32 After Noah was 500 years old, Noah fathered Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
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Perhaps one of the most boring and pointless sections in the entire Bible; the fifth chapter of Genesis is designed to convince you that we have a direct and unbroken genealogy that stretches from Adam, the first of men, all the way down to Noah, the last of the antediluvian men (antediluvian meaning "before the flood").
Of interest is the fact that Adam apparently lived for 130 years before he ever had another child, presumably since his first two sons decided to invent fratricide; one can imagine that the first murder might have convinced him to lay off the 'begetting' for a little while. Still, an 130 year old Eden-reject sired a child, presumably on his equally decrepit and ancient wife Eve, and they named him Seth.
Don't worry, those of you who always wondered how two people turned into billions: over the next 800 years we are told that Adam sired plenty of other children on his still-fertile centuries-old common-law wife, including girls. This is a good thing to note, as presumably Seth has to have sex with his own sisters in order to help populate the globe; after all, there are no other men but those that have fallen out of Eve's geriatric loins.
Adam died at the age of 930, so that his son Seth only got to spend 8 centuries with his father before he passed away... Times were tough before medicine and science, with lifespans that almost lasted a millennium. These prolonged existences are hard to justify through use of the Old Testament narrative alone, as Adam had already eaten from the Tree of Knowledge and was already cast out of Eden. Curiously he lived another 900 years before God finally remembered that he promised to kill Adam for eating the apple in the first place, as mentioned in Genesis 2:17. In fact, in that threatening verse, God tells Adam that he will die on the very day that he disobeys Him and puts fruit to lips, but it took him almost a thousand years to make good on that vengeful promise.
This kind of prehistorical insistence on exceptional lifespans is not a Biblically-specific circumstance. Throughout the Middle East there are tons of examples of mythological figures who are believed to have lived for hundreds or even thousands of years despite the fact that this is absolutely impossible. For example, in the Sumerian King List (a document that predates any book of the Old Testament by thousands of years), certain monarchs are purported to have reigned for absurd lengths of time, and all this without any "God must have done it," legerdemain and hand-waving. I think it is safe to assume that ancient peoples really had no idea what they were talking about when they tried to recount history from thousands of years before they ever learned to write, so it's probably not wise to take their suppositions too literally. However, while one can argue that about the (more ancient) Sumerian Kings List without impediment, to suggest that the Bible is anything but inerrant is religious intolerance.
In any case; Seth sat around for 105 years until he finally decided he should do some begetting of his own, and he had his very first child as a centenarian. This child he named Enos, and he is the only child ever listed as having been born from Seth, though Seth is said to have lived for 912 years before he too died. Enos did not have any children himself until he was 90 years old, at which time he begat Cainan; curious that he has named a son after the world's first murderer, but that strange fact does not compare to the age oddities. I think it's clear that no adult male is likely to sire a child at the age of 90 (let alone 130), and so doesn't it make a bit more sense to assume that the translation of 'years' as given in the Bible is off? Is it not more likely that the calculation is wrong? Is it really easier for the faithful to believe that the laws of nature did not apply to these first humans, who waited a hundred years before having children, and then lived 800 years after they begat?
Fortunately Enos continued to begat sons and daughters (the daughters, curiously, never seem to be named in this narrative), and he lived another 815 years, dying at the age of 905. His son Cainan waited until he was 70 and begat his own son, Mahaleel (one of the best "Biblical names" I've ever seen). He too lived another 840 years, populating the world with even more sons and daughters throughout that epic lifetime.
It continues in this way, pointlessly recounting absolutely absurd demographics: Mahaleel waited until he was 65 before he had his own son, Jared, though over the next 800 years he again begat countless sons and daughters after him. Jared waited until he was 162 years old to have his first son, whom he named Enoch, and Jared lived 962 years before he died.
Enoch lived 65 years before he had his own first child, Methuselah. However, we are told that Enoch "walked with God," and the presumption is that he was magically transported directly into Heaven by the Hand of God, soul and body still attached, so that he never died. Later Judeo-Christian legend insists that Enoch then transformed into Metatron, a powerful arch-angel (though the Bible never mentions this), but it's clear from this very brief and uninformative passage that Enoch did not die like the others, but was disappeared by the grace of God. Perhaps he was a missing person, and the only way these primitive tribalists could explain it was to blame Heaven; but that assumes that Enoch was an actual person, a theory which we have absolutely no historical data to support.
In any case, Enoch lived 365 years before God stole him, and Methuselah lived for 187 years before he decided to have his own first child, Lamech. Methuselah broke Jared's record for absurdly long lifespan when he himself stayed alive until he had lived 969 years. If one is silly enough to believe the Bible on such matters, Methuselah is the oldest living human ever, and there is no explanation given for the length of his life.
Lamech lived for 182 years before he decided to breed, and his first son was a silly little man called Noah.
Lamech lived 777 years before he died.
His son Noah did not have any children until he was 500 years old, at which time he finally decided to beget, and beget he did: he had three children seemingly all at once, and they are called Shem, Ham, and Japheth.
The chapter ends here, and I really don't think I have to spend a lot of time debunking this one; it's pretty plainly absurd on its face, after all. Few sections of the Bible are quite so self-refuting. Fortunately, with the birth of Ham we inch very close to the part of the Bible that was used for centuries as an apologia for slave-trading! That should be fun!
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