Genesis 9: The Noahic Covenant.

Some of the modern-day descendants of Ham.  
Don't feel bad for them, their grandpa looked at Noah's dick.

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 8: Finally Off That Goddamn Boat.

The world's first gay pride float.  Get it Noah!  You fierce, grrrl!

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 7: More Flood Foolishness.

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 6: Noah's Ark & the Fallacy of the Flood.

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 5: From Adam to Noah.

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 4: Cain and Abel.

The chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.  

Genesis 3: The Fall.

As always, the chapter first, uninterrupted, from the English Standard Version of the Bible.

Genesis 2: Man is Created.

First, as always, the chapter presented, unedited and in its entirety, straight from the English Standard Version of the Bible.

Genesis 1: Genesis, Dude.

This is the first in a series of posts examining the Bible critically.  As I prefer a literal translation rather than the apologetics-laden contradiction-smoothing Biblical translations of modern American evangelicals, I have decided to use the English Standard Version as my Bible of choice, though I intend to occasionally pull details from other translations when and if it seems appropriate.

First I present the chapter in its entirety below.